Showdown, at the KURO Corral:

Yes, those three BIG BAD BLACK BOYS are at it again.
Tonight, I decided to have a showdown between three of the biggest, baddest, bestest boys in town.
The three I chose for tonight are probably (no, not Carlsberg again) among the most famous and finest of their kind in the world, ladies and gentlemen - the world.

No, I'm not talking about Big Jim Slade:


I'm talking about the lovely, wholesome smooth yet strong stouts and right from the off, you can probably guess one of the three.

The second comes from the good old US-of-f**kin-A and the last one from way back home (ish).

Without further ado, here are the three big, bad, black, boy beers!

Ooh! - don't they look:

• BIG?
• BLACK?
• BAD?
• BEERish?
• like the BOYZ?

Well, this boy is gonna put them to the test.

THREE BEERS ENTER, ONE BEER LEAVE

(strictly, all beers enter {my stomach} and none actually physically leaves, as such.
Rather, one leaves with the mark of champion of the big bad black boyz of beer!)

We have (left to right):
England's Samuel Smith's Oatmeal Stout, America's rogue Breweries' Shakespeare Stout and finally, good old Guiness.

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Challenger 1:

Guinness
Guinness, from sweet, fair Ireland (land of the little men in pointy hats who scream at the kids who knick their lucky charms and here I go again, off one one o'me tangents...)

Lovely drink. You can find this anywhere in the world. First thoughts upon imbibing:
Cream. Malted chocolate. Goodness. Silky smooth. Easy to drink. Cold. Sweet.
5% but lacks bite and depth of flavor. Feels a little mass produced. This is a beer you can drink fast and then drink some more. Also as it's quite thick and heavy, you can't easily drink more than 10pints before you feel bloated - a very good safety measure.
Feel if it had a little more alcoholic depth of taste, it would be a much finer beer. Little less cream and a little more depth would improve this a lot.
Still, great easy drinking session beer.
6.5/10.
I'm sorry, I know it is supposed to be poured slowly, I just can't drink it slowly. Slight blasphemy, perhaps. But if it was stronger tasting and demanded a little more patience, then yes. But this bitch doesn't say nuffin when I open wide and force her down.
My, my, that was some strong language. Apologies.
Here's what Beeradvocate says about it. A very strong 83%.
Next!

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Challenger 2:

Samuel Smith's Oatmeal Stout:
This baby was given to lactating mothers. Oatmeal stout was regarded as a very nutritional food. I'm not arguing.
I'll take that excuse.
I trust those lactating mothers.
They know what they're doing. In fact, I hear a rumour that the Apollo space program was a success only after NASA relented and sacked it's entire team of asrtophycisists and aerospace engineers and brought in a team of beer swilling lactating mothers. That sorted things out and got those men on the moon (allegedly).
Oats are in the same family as barley, and a small addition gives a lot of flavor. Popular in the late 1800's, the last oatmeal stout was brewed before the First World War until Mr. 'brew-it-again' Samuel Smith reintroduced this style in 1980.

First impressions:
Dark.
Syrup.
Treacle.
Alcohol.
Sweet.
Bitter.
Malty.
Roast, roast, roast.

Nice.
This is a beer I will not swallow, like the guiness. No, I drink this one. Slowly.
Good. A beer I can sit back and enjoy. I reckon those lactating mothers knew what they were doing.
"Forget the breast, woman (what am I saying?!), just pass me that bottle - no! No, not the milk! Ye gads! No, the other one, the stout...mmm..."

Head retention is very short.
Tastes good but a little too like a burnt caramel finish. Little too roasted?
Still, a very nice beer but not one to drink with friends, when you're trying to get in as many as the buds or heinekens your mates are slugging back because you're doing rounds. This demands your complete attention. It's quite a tempremental little sucker.
Flavorsome. Not really creamy. Very different to the guinness in those respects.
Yes.
7/10
Here's what Beeradvocate says about it. Gives it a mighty 90%.
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Finally, we have our last contender for the title:

Challenger 3:
Rogue Brewery's Shakespeare Stout.

My, my. This is about as close to perfection in a stout as I have some across.
In fact, whenever I journey to Popeye's beer bar in Tokyo, I always order this as my last beer.
Gorgeous!
From Oregon State, Rogue is one of many excellent small breweries there, that produce amazing varieties of outstanding beers.
Lovely. Sublime. It's been 5 minutes and there's stil a nice faint hint of head on the top.
I've fallen asleep with a rogue bottle at my side and woken up the next day with it smelling and looking just as fresh as when I'd opened it! - of course, I drank it. On all four occasions.
Both the smell and taste are just intense. A multitude of flavors presents itself. Highly roasted malts. Licourice hints and caramels. Bitterness. Chocolate, but bitter chocalate. A slightly astringent sweetness that is not unpleasant at all.
Very, very nice.
Again, this beer demands that it be experienced, not quaffed.
A very good beer.
Coincidentally, this is one of the only beers in barley wine form (extra strength - 11-14% alc or more) that I can tolerate.
I love this beer.
8.5/10.
My favourite stout.

Here's what Beeradvocate says. 91% Blimey!

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We have ourselves a WINNER!!!!


YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

It's the biggest, baddest, blackest, boyest(?) beer in town!!!!!!

"Shakespeare! oh, Shakespeare!" Deny thy complex undertones and refuse thy stout and I shall forever be on the wagon!"

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