Apple unveils new, completely redesigned and even smaller Steve Jobs

It seems that the nano is not the smallest and most compact thing that Apple have come up with.
No sir, they seem to have gone one better.
Yes, your tiny mp3 player and portable music player is compact and designed to take anywhere, in this on-the-go, hectic world of hustle and bustle.
But how about you?
Why should you settle for paying for a full seat on an airplane or train?
Why do you have to worry about large suitcases or bags, everytime you travel?
Why should you pay for normal portions in a restaurant, while children get the better deal?
Now, it seems Apple have come up with the solution: the NanoU.
They have somehow reignited the market with their revolutionary new product. It's you - in NANO form!
Now, you can travel anywhere at a fraction of the cost! For just 99c per journey. You can simply post yourself inside an i-letter, or hop into another passenger's pocket (assuming said passenger is wearing ipod compatible jeans or slacks). You can forget about the pricy t-bone steak, when just a 99c i-steak (or small piece of mince) will more than satisfy! You can dine in style, at the fanciest restaurants, for FREE, just by hopping on the plate after someone has finished and making a fillet mignion sandwich from a leftover sliver of meat and a few crumbs.

New, even smaller, the NANOJobs,
demonstrates his tiny size, next to normal nanos.
Unfortunately, soon after this, the NANOJobs
was dismembered and devoured by Tibsy, the office cat.

This is truly ground breaking technology.
Apple has done it again.

The creation of an expected associated i-homes real estate corporation, dealing in minature housing and nano vacation homes in exotic locations is rumored to be in the works.