CAI targets AlQeada morale

In a recent twist to the war against terror, the CAI has apparently resorted to psychological warfare, to destroy the terrorists' morlae and take away their will to fight.
Here is a picture taken after an alleged CAI bombing of a suspected AlQeada 'love station'.

"I...I just don't understand it. Fattimah never hurt anyone, Musthaver. Why? Why!?..."

Love stations are located all over Gafhanistan, Ariq and into the mountainous areas of Kapistan.
Apparently,t he strict religious law the terrorists fight under restricts them from fornacation with a woman who is not their wife(s). A nice way around this, is to fornacate with animals.
So, these 'love stations' are set up. The theory is, blow these animlas away, and what you have left is a lot of good eating and enemy soldiers, deperatley at a loss to fight.

CAI undercover operatives have testified that, amazingly enough, these woolly wonders actually can grow on you.
Here, an unnamed agent (let's call 'Dave') recalls his time undercover:
"Yeah, I guess, I'll never forget little Poohpoos. She never said a word against me. Never said a word, actually...about anything. Always was a good listener. Kept me warm on those long, cold nights. And her tongue and inside of her mouth was always there for me. Warm, moist, smooth... ...uh. Yeah, I miss her. Like, every freaking day. She became all I would long for, all I would think about, even to the point of me sending postcards and letters to Poohpoos, rather than my wife and kids back home.These days, I just stare out the window, with my AK47, wondering where she is and who she is with at that moment...
....oh, Poohpoos! I miss you so much! Daddy misses you!"

Reports have been coming in of the occupying forces assimilation into the community going a bit too far. Soldiers have been reported 'getting it on' with various domesticated animals on Friday nights and even commandeering a sheep or a cow for 'base use'.
Complaints have been recieved from religious leadres in the community.
"Yeah, this seems to be becoming a bit of a problem." said General Lee A.Roused, in charge of intercultural liasoning. "I can sympathise with the locals. I mean, taking just the one sheep for personal use, that's not gonna really harm anyone, is it? But 5, 10 or the whole harem? - now, that's just got to stop!"




"Well, lookie here! Ah went got me sum flossy!!"





"Shut up, kid! We're taking them and there's nothing you can do about it! They're...they're just going on a little holiday, is all. Yeah, that's it. a little holiday... to Disneyland. Gonna play with Mickey, Donald and Goofy sergant Thompson over there."


"...and then, when I've finished, I'm gonna put some nice conditioner on you, then we're gonna rinse off together, then rub each other down with lannolin towellettes. Then I'll fix us up some popcorn and hot chocolate, and we can relax and watch Sleepless in Seattle. After that, we can make love by the fire...and ah'm gonna f**k you gooooood!"

Some soldiers have been reported as taking advantage of the situation and even profitting from it. Most soldiers are miles from home, far from loved ones. No access to penthouse or playboy. They have been rumoured to be organising huge brothels of beasts of every description. These 'superpimps' have been known to parade their 'bitches' down the main streets, in broad daylight - such is the confidence of these individuals.


"Shut up, Charlene! Ah'll smack you in the mouth! Don't you baa back to me, b*tch!! I'l cut you! Keep movin there, Maybelle! Everyone look at Ann Marie there! Now she knows how to get a private's parts goin! Way to go, Ann Marie! There'll be an extra sugar lump for you, tonight, baby!"


Investigations are ongoing.

"...pass me that jar of K-Y, wil you, dear? Hey, don't eat all the sugar cubes! They're for later! You're a baaaaaad girl! That's why I like you"