Tonight, I'm going to helles...and back

I've lived a pretty lucky life, up until now. Can't complain, really.
I've somehow got by and I have a job (with amazing vacation time), I've got my own place (for now), I have great friends, I'm lucky enough to have known more than one woman but less than many (tee hee!) in the 'biblical sense' ( we meet on Sundays and she spends most of her time on her knees, head down, body rocking back and forth, and I lift my face to heaven and thank holy Jesus).
Sorry, digressing again.
Anyway, I have a lot to be thankfull for.
I more or less have my back in less than three pieces, my shoulder rotator cuff is still attached, as is my broken knee joint and my inner thigh has stopped bleeding internally and hopefully my tendons will grow back.
Got a lot to be thankfull for.
At least I have a shoulder, knee, back and ligaments and tendons.
Plus (and a big plus), I still have all my genitals. That's always a positive.
Everyday, I appreciate being able to sense - I mean actually relaise that I am standing in the train (who needs to sit? Stand and FEEL!). My legs are working, the sensations become wonderful and welcoming.
To be able to FEEL, it's amazing.
We too often forget what we have.

Anyhoo, I think tonight I will journey to helles.
That fiery, burning, sensuous, den of temptation, lust, deciept and deliciousness that hails from Munich, the most delectable and flavorsome beer nirvana in Southern Germany. Interesting that 'helles' is German for 'bright'.

First created in Munich in 1894, it is perhaps the most delicate beer imaginable, and must rely on its incredible subtlety to please the palate. Munich's famous beerhall helles, the palest of lagers, has almost no nose or up-front bitterness. Straw blond and topped by a tall, white crown, it is the quaffing beer of the Bavarians.
Bavarian Helles: History, Brewing Techniques, Recipes. Horst Dornbusch.

Gonna start tonight's journey in the wonderful forests, hilss, streams, springs (great water for beer!) of the ancient Bohemia. Finally working my way dwon through the north of Germany to the land of Helles, Bavaria.
Believe me, al these beers are connected in history.

First up, whilst I work on my travel photos is not a helles but one of the competing styles that perhaps gave rise to helles' poularity, ironically enough.
I think at that time, the pilsner sensation from bohemia was taking over. Everyone wanted this new clear, clean tasting, crisp, fresh beer. The Bavarian answer to this was perhaps helles.
I like them both. I drink them both.
To helles with the conservatives! Viva la revolution!
I'm not from the Czech Republic. I'm not from Germany.I can drink them both and not offend anyone, hopefully. Also, I'm not from the late 19th Century.

I give you, the Pilsner Urquell:

This beer was actually developed by a Bavarian brewer, in 1842 (told you there were connections). 'Pilsner Urquell', in German and 'Plzeňský prazdroj' in the Czech_language meaning the source of the pilsner, or the original pislner. most probably the first of its kind in the world and quite possibly still the best. If you have the chance of visiting the town of Pilsen in the Czech Rep and the brewery and take the brewery tour and go into the cellars and get to tap one of the very few remaining oak barrels of fresh, unfiltered, unpasturised true pilsner urquell beer - then I say go for it and don't look back and ask for a second, third and hopefully fourth or tenth glass. You won't regret it. Gorgeous.



A lovely brew. Unfortunately the brewery has been purchased by SaaaaaaaabMuller and the beer is pasturized and some is produced in Poland. Nothing against Poland, but it's not exactly 'the source', now, is it? Think the Czechs take their beer seriously (heaviest drinkers in Europe and probably the world) and the Czech Rep is perhaps my favourite beer producing country, after Germany and the good old UK (although I'm sure if I travelled through more of the United States and 'got lost' in the NorthWestern coast for a few months, I'd probably include the USA in there too). Sorry - not a fan of Belgians.


Next up is another pilsner, but a German one. You see...we're getting closer to helles, just like a certain famous writer.
However, there are not so many stages as in his works. Gotta get my beauty sleep, you know.
Back to the booze at hand. It's a Pilsner but it's from Germany and I think it tastes kinda halfway between the dryness of the Urquell and the maltiness of the final helles.
It hails from Northern Germany. This brewery was formed in 1873. Yes, everyone knows this beer. Malty, crisp.
Refreshing. My good friend from Bielberg drinks nothing else.
Mellow yet a hint of bitter hopping is there, somewhere.
Using two row spring barley from the south of England and Hallertau hops from southern Germany, i give you...Beck's.

It's not Beck's - it's mine.

Luckily this is still a good beer, despite being bought in 2002 by another supergianty company, Interbrew for 2.1billion US$. Holy schmoly!!!!!

Finshed the Beck's.
time for a step closer to helles...

Which takes us finally, to Munich. Oh, Munich. so many good memories (sadly, ALL involving beer).

Spaten Helles, from Munich, Germany.
Very, very nice and a fine example of a Bavarian helles.
This is my penultimate beer for tonight.


p.s. Last night, I was weak and succumbed to the temptation of another helles-like lager from Munich, the Hofbrau Original. I was supposed to save it for tonight. sorry.

As I mentioned before, some may say that the helles style was an answer to the encroaching pilsner devil from the north (brewed by a Bavarian, ironically).

I'm not sure if that story is true, but whatever the case, I'm happy to have these two beer styles in my life (covers for the lack of other things, like money, success, happiness...).
Thank you, beer! You always understand me!


Never mind.


Gonna enjoy my Spaten now and watch some of season 6 of the Sopranos.

Where's my gabagoo??!!!?!!?

BUT WAIT!!!
Tere's a suprise late entrant.
Another beer.
A helles, yet not was we know it...

(Your name's not Jim, by any chance, is it?)

This baby is labelled as a 'mozart Helles'. Weird name, as Moart is famour in Vienna and Strasburg, no Munich. Also, Austrian lager is not like Munich helles lager. Havent had an Austrian lager I can compare to the helles style yet, but I give this baby a shot, consider ing where it's actualy from.
Not Munich.
Not Austria.
Japan.

Yes, Japan. Welcome to Disneyland.

Yes, brewed by the good boys and bad girls at Gotenba kogen brewery in Gotenba, Shizuoka.
Great place and well worth visiting the brewery complex and taking advantage of their 3,000yen, all you can eat and all you can drink offer.

Good beer. Good food. Good times.

Gonna drink this baby now...

Mmmm...not bad.

Kinda strange malty, chocolatey flat smell. Head nice but goes fast. Better on tap at the HQ itself. The inn of sin, the den of men, the location of inebreation, the bunks of drunks, the home of foam, the bed of head, the station of intoxication, gotenba Kogen brewery.


So, you see, I'm back in Japan.

We've gone to Helles...and back.


All that in only 4 beers (would have been 5 or more but iIwas thirsty last night - the 6 I had in the cinema just didn't cut it -although the 5 rogues I had were awesome and the perfect accompianment to a seafaring pirating adventure such as Pirates of the Carribean...aaarrgh!!).

Tarah.

Prison tours for kids

From Reno 911. Good show.

Super Beer Walker! ...it aint no damn plane.

It does what it says on the box. Except it isn't exactly super - unless you count the 2 minute novelty effect.
Still, it's about 25minutes and 2 beers later and I'm still feeling kinda groovy (or is that the alcohol?).

This baby is tight. Like an overweight elephant in a size 9 bikini.

Here's a video I made of my first 2 trial test runs:


THe 2nd one turned out nice. Shame the fake beer was not so good.

Verdict: It rocks!!!!
(at least for now).