Thoughts and experiences from this simple creature, called Chris. How well do you know him? Do you even care? Probably less so, after reading this:

Tuesday, April 29

Oh!La!Ho Kolsch taste test:

Mmm.
The last time I had a kolsch, it shook me. I was stunned. It was crisp. clear, golden (can it be both golden and clear? - this time it was - or at least seemed to be...) and ever so refreshingly crisp and clear.
Just can't seem to escape the feelings of crispness (drank it by the side of a frozen lake, surrounded by freaky snowmen) and clear (pure white all around complimented the purity of taste). That time, it was a Tazawako Kolsch, on tap, by the shore of Lake Tazawa. Ice cold, crisp, clear, gorgeous. That was myfavourite beer of the Akita trip. Calling a kolsch my favourite beer is no mean feat, considering I don't especially care for the style.
Well, I'm a changed man.
So I was happy to try this Oh!La!Ho (yes, that is the name of the brewer) Kolsch. Kindly donated by Candian Dave after one of his jaunts up to the snowbound Nagano mountains.
VErdict: While no Tazawako experience, it was still not bad. Crisp tasting and got better as I drank it.
Fresh and sprightly dry mouthfeel.
Does any of that make sense?

Oh!La!Ho Kolsch 5.5/10

Tuesday, April 15

Your mishun, Chuwy...hic!...if...if you choosh to akshept it...

...is this weekend, to find and drink Yaho Brewing's seasonal ESB!
...may the forsh be with you... ....hic!

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Well, I did it.
Eventually.

My attempt to 'grab a quick one' on the way home at McCanns bar in musashi kopusugi ended in dismal and bamboozling failure, as I learned that jsut hours before my arrival, the barrel had ran dry.
Crapola!!!!!
Still, the Bearen chocolate stout they had on in replacement was perhaps some form of compensation. Very nice.
A day or two later, I eventually found a bar that had Yaho ESB on tap.
I used my boozelist blog to find it.
I ventured out far into Tokyo to Beer Bar Bachus and had my Yaho ESB!
And it was good!
6% alc and a slight bite to it. Mild, smooth taste. Quite a lot like the stuff back home. I liked it but I didn't luuuuurv it.

Nectar of the Gods? Mead of the cherubs?Not sure if I'd go that far, but it wasn't half bad.

I enjoyed it so much that I ventured back into Shibuya a few days later and had another one at the Aldgate. For some reason, I had forgotten that Yaho Brewing was also Karuizawa Kogen beer. It wasn't until after I'd travelled all the way to Bachus that I realised this. Shibuya is far closer to me. nuts! Never mind, I went to the Aldgate and had a Karuizawa Kogen ESB:I enjoyed this, whilst talking with Mr.S (one of the foremost beer connoisseurs and writers/drinkers/bar hunters in Japan) and also waiting for a Mr.E (also quite the connoisseur and writer/drinker/bar hunter himself, as well as the organiser of a very large beer appreciation group) to join me for a little bar expedition.

Very nice.

Now, it's Sunday, April 20th.
Took a drive out past Yokohama city (I wasn't driving, by the way) and couldn't resist and another ESB. This time one form the old country:Nice beer.

Now at home, and what a suprise, it's time for another ESB!
This time in the can (thanks to Mr.S for remindig me that World Porters in Yokohama has a Karuizawa kogen beer section).
I thought I'd finish as I'd started, with a can of Yaho ESB in a glass:Yaho ESB 6.5/10

Sunday, April 13

Tasters taste test the tasteless

WTF? 
McDonalds is Japan's favourite coffee?
Apparently, over 1,000 people surveyed came to that conclusion.(click on pic to go to original story)
The survey, which polled 1,280 people here aged between 20 and 39 years old in November last year, asked respondents to select their favorite coffee based on aroma, bitterness, sourness, price and so on. McDonald's 100-yen coffee topped the list, followed by Doutor Coffee, Mos Burger, Starbucks and Mister Donut.
What...the hell...?
Price must be a factor in their decision. However, Mr.Donuts has free refills - did they take that into account?
I would've thought it would have been Starbucks (Tully's is better but possibly not included), Mr.Donuts, McDonalds (as they are making an effort to improve the coffee), then whatever other crap there is.

I read that in the States, McDonalds has been aggresively marketing it's coffee, to compete with other , more 'coffee orientated' stores. I think it's working.
My guess is the price has a lot to do with it.
Price, plus drinkability (doesn't completely taste like sh*t) and convenience.
Plus, I wonder how many people, once in the store, will then order an extra apple pie, or a cheeseburger or extrabigdoublehwhoppercellulose and child?
Now, I'm interested in trying a McDonalds coffee, just to see how bad or possibly not-so-bad it really is. It's available for just 100yen in Japan. Great value? Perhaps not, especially if you are a big drinker. e.g. compare it to the 260yen for MrDonuts for free refills and the 'value' image dissapears after 3 cups .
I did notice that in McDonalds, the coffee jugs are changed regularly, in a bid to keep the coffee 'fresh'. Also, the thermostat for the coffee is set at about 96, which is good for coffee. One complaint I have about Starbucks coffee is that it always tastes burnt. I'm sure they're either heating their coffee to too high temperatures or heating it for too long. But even Starbucks house coffee is better than the Doutor crap. That's possibly the nastiest coffee I've ever had the misfortune to try. However, they do have some good sandwiches but the shops are always so smoky. I think Doutor will soon become 'Dinosor', along with the chain smoking salarymen who never go home and the chain smoking 30-something-living-with-their-parents, who don't want to.

I shall try a McDonalds coffee and comment on the taste. I regard taste to be the main criteria for judging a coffee's superiority.
Basically, these guys run a business. Business has a simple rule. Convince people that a duck isn't really a duck and that they really want one of these 'non ducks'.
"It walks like a duck,
it looks like a duck,
it sounds like a duck,
it tastes like a duck...
...but perhaps it's not a duck...
...it costs more, so it can't be.
I want it."
Basically, if it's cheap as sh*t, if it looks like sh*t, if it tastes like sh*t... ...it's sh*t.
However, if it's as cheap as sh*t, it looks sh*t but it tastes fine... ...then that's fine.

I'll use this stringent judging criteria to asses the McDonalds coffee.
To be continued...

Still, why am I suprised that McDonalds topped the Japanese poll?
Japanese are the top importers of Copi Luwak, the coffee that possibly tastes like sh*t because, basically, that's what it is. Sh*t. Feces. Excrement. Crap.
Civet cat crap, to be more precise.
In the animals' stomachs, enzymes in the gastric juices massage the beans, smoothing off the harsh edges that make coffee bitter and produce caffeine jitters. Humans then separate the greenish-brown beans from the rest of the dung, and once a thin outer layer is removed, they are ready for roasting. The result is a delicacy with a markup so steep it would make a drug dealer weep. (read the LA Times article)
These civet cats were well known to eat only the ripest and best coffee beans. The locals discovered that if they then took the excreted coffee beans and made coffee with them, the stuff actually tasted really good! Exactly who first discovered this and why is possibly a secret best kept to themselves.
"Hey, guys! I was just, uh, you know, drinking the ground up remains of forest animal dung and guess what? Some of it tastes realy good! Why are you looking at me like that?"
Mmm, good enough to eat. Crunchy, too.
Apparently, it's now the most expensive coffee in the world ($600 a pound!) and one of the rarest. Hand picked by industrious Indonesians with bad backs and very itchy noses. I'm looking for a cafe that serves copi luwak in Japan. I really want to try some. Just a cup. But how can I be sure that it's the real deal?

Something that scares me even more is this quote from the excellent LA Times article:
Like a forensic scientist reading a bullet's markings, Marcone stares at kopi luwak under an electron microscope, searching for striations that tell him that a civet excreted it. His studies found that kopi luwak drinkers need to be careful to avoid being duped.
"About 42% of all the kopi luwaks that are presently on sale are either adulterated or complete fakes, unfortunately," he said.
Oh, sh*t.

"Well, we've done the tests.
It's not civet sh*t.
Basically, you don't want to know. Trust me."

Just 2 nights ago, as I was cycling to my local station, a large cat walked across my path. As I got closer, the animal didn't seem to want to get out of the way. I made a cat sound to make it move (hey, it works with cats) and was about to nudge it with my leg when I realised that it wasn't a cat. It was a lot longer. I then thought perhaps it was a tanooki (racoon), but it was too cat-like. Then I realised it was a civet cat. I didn't know they had them in Japan? I remembered that in China they were carriers of the SARS virus, so I got out of there, faster than a guy who thought he was getting lucky then did the reach around and felt a warm sausage and a big bag of nuts. The animal slunked off down a side alley, calm-as-you-like. The bugger must have known that his sh*t was worth more than I was. Couldn't get a picture. Damn. Should've grabbed the bugger and fed it some of the coffee beans I have in my home, then 'processed' the results.
Nuts! Or should that be 'beans!'?

Then a thought hit me. If civet sh*t can fetch such a high price, then what about other such animals? I've seen another animal on the street near my home. A great big tanooki (Japanese racoon). If I could feed one some coffee beans and process the racoon sh*t, maybe I could make a fortune?
Here's a Tanooki:
By the way, those aren't legs.

I know this animal has the balls for the job, but am I nuts enough to try it?

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Friday, April 4

Ladies, please don't slap me any more


...and perhaps I'll cut back on the inyourendohs.
Deal?

Dude, lookin' for a new bro?



Uh... p.s.

Thursday, April 3

Die Hard 12

Out now - or perhaps not.


In case you missed it, the first Die Hard:


Die Hard with a Vengence:


So what happened to John McCain?
Rumor is, he's been spotted in Japan:

Warrior Celt, Ueno Park, BarBar, Bachus and Towers

Yesterday (Wednesday), I popped out to Tokyo to check out some interesting bars.

But first, some hats:I found this awesome army surplus store and couldn't resist trying some hats on!
Not to sound like Angeleina jolie, but this baby was Chinese and only 1200yen. Bargain.
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First on my list was The Warrior Celt, in Ueno.(click on their logo to go to their site)
The pub is up on the 3rd floor. Can you see the sign?Wasn't so easy to find. Here's the map from their website:
They have a great happy hour offer:Yep. 600yen a pint.

What's on offer?
When I was there, it included Spitfire, 1698, Guinness, Heineken and Old Rosie (cider).
I only had one hour of happy hour left so I decided to make the most of it.
Unfortunately, as I was concentrating on drinking, I forgot to take a photo of the bar.
Here's one taken from the Warrior Celt fan blog:
Click on their picture to go to the site.

I started with a Shepherd Neame 1698.
For more info on this beer, click here.
I thought this beer was the best of the bunch. However, the guys at the pub somehow forgot to order in extra gas and, as the gas ran out towards the end of my pint, there was no more for the next one. So, the first one was the best. However, it wasn't so bad, as my second gasless 1698 probably tasted more like it would have, back in 1698.
1698 Celebration Ale: 7/10.
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Next up was a Bishop's Finger. A suitable ambiguosly saucy title for a spicy, saucy pint.
I had this from the bottle:
Also a nice pint. Not quit as much kick as the last Bishop's finger I had, a couple of weeks back, but still not bad. I remember having at least two Bishops' fingers in me, at the Aldgate in Shibuya. They seemed to feel different, somehow. The temperature, consistency and color of this Bishop's finger seemed to be similar to the other two. Indeed, once the Bishop's finger was inside me, I was reminded of the last two Bishops' fingers. You can't worry too much about this stuff. You just gotta relax, open up and let that Bishop's finger gloriously slide its way in.
Bishop's finger - nun's delight.
5/10
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Next up was a whole lotta Rosie!
Old Rosie, scrumpy cider:
Hmm... ...try saying 'golden delicious', without saying 'golden' and 'delicious'!
lovely.
This brought back memories. Senior high school, first year. We sneaked in a 6 pack of scrumpy cider during English class. Drunk them under the desk. That was a good lesson, as I recall.
This stuff was kept in the refridgereator, as the bar was too warm for the cider to keep. It was served at a nice cool temperature and tasted crisp, clear and cool. Not so strong tasting. Just the right amount of sweetness and tartness. Very nice. A little flat though. However, the real old ciders were more ro less gasless. I've been drinking too much of the 'artificial' stuff. Strongbow and Woodpecker etc have CO2 added to them. Thanks for that reminder, Andy!

Old Rosie - 7/10.
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After that, I ordered some food:
Chips & Chili Beans. At 600yen, this price matched the drinks.
It wasn't so bad, but how this took over 20 minutes to cook, I have no idea. I think some work has gone into preparing this, but it didn't taste all that fantastic. Not really spicy at all. but it had chips, chilli beans and cheese. So it went down easy and was appreciated (even though perhaps it doesn't sound like it).

I had jsut enough time for one more pint, so I risked a flat 1698.
As i mentioned previous, my logic was that at least if it was flat, then it would seem an authentic beer from 1698.
If so, then I'm glad I'm in the 21st Century.

2nd pint of 1698 - 3.5-4/10.

p.s. a small warning: You can order snakebite here! This stuff is more or less illegal back home, as people get very, very drunk on it and very very fast.
Another drink which was lethal was the snakebite and black. This used blackcurrant cordial and was even sweeter tasting. Danger!
So, if you're with that extra hot date or you want to persuade your boss to give you that well deserved raise, then get them on this stuff!

I liked the Warrior Clet and every time I go there, it's a little different.
Warrior Celt 6/10
p.s. their happy hour now doesn't include bottles but it's still pretty good if that includes beers like 1698 and old Rosie.
Well worth a visit if you're in the Ueno area. May even be worht swining by from somewhere else, especially if you go during happy hour.
p.p.s their live music is pretty good, too.
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Next up was a huge burger from Mosburger
...and then a stroll thorough Ueno park to see the cherry blossoms and all the salarymen and women partying away under the lamplit blossoms.Toilets were busy. At least they were using them.Seemed like some people had been here all day.This guy was on his own in the centre of a big blue plastic area. But some other people were trying to fold up the plastic. It was funny watching it. Perhaps he's still in there...Right, time to leave.
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Off I went to Tokyo station, in search of BarBar.
No, not a big talking Elephant.
A beer bar, deep in the bowels of Tokyo Station.
Again, it took me a while to find it (I'm useless with directions - perhasp it's the beer).
Once inside, I find it's small wiht a crazy 's' shaped table dominating the cetnre. If you don't mind a stinky breathed smoking salaryman inches from your beer and your face, then I guess this is the place for you. I got a glass of the hous Augus(t) pilsner, from Fukushima.This tasted more like a helles? Malty, creamy and not so good. Couldn't get much info on this beer from the staff.
Augus pils -4/10

After some salarymen started blowing smoke over me and my drink, I drank up and left. Now I know why I didn't drink in there the last time I checked the place out, a long time ago.
On a side note, the nearby ShoChu Authority alchohol shop now only sells shochu and awamori. They used to have a small but really interesting selection of Japanese craft beers. Not any more.
BarBar - 4/10.
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Next up was the Beer Bar Bachus.
Just a few blocks away, to the North East of Tokyo station, it must have taken me over a bloody hour to find the place!Even the Asian "massaji? massaaaaji!" ladies didn't kow where teh bar was (and this was when I was barely 20m away from the place!).
I almost ran past it:Easy to walk past. It's only been open about 5 months. The owner used to work in an 'Irish' bar out near Nippori, if I've got my info correct.

The bar is in the basement. When you go down you'll find a nice cosy bar with space for around 15 or so. The main bar is at the end of the square shaped room. A nice bar it is too. Comfy stools and half a dozen or so taps. 2 hand pumps. I like this place.

The menu for the day:I ordered a half pint of Hakkeisan weissen.I've drank this before from the bottle and it wasn't too bad. Hakkeisan is also a sake brewer from Niigata. I used to drink their sake a bit when I first came to Japan. Liked it.
The weissen is a little weak and watery tasting. But not too bad.
Hakkeisan weissen - 5.5/10.

Next up was the cask ale. This was a Sangkt Gallen Golden Ale. Did I spell that right?Not bad. bit weird tasting. Kinda changed as I drank it, rather like the golden ale I had at Aldgate (Was it Miyabi ale?). Little bitter and tinge of apples? Never been a big fan of Sankt Gallen. This isnt too bad. Still, not my favourite but I was glad I tried it.
Sankt Gallen Golden Ale- 5/10.

Bachus is a nice littel place. If you're in Tokyo and even if you're at the enarby Towers, I reccoment paying this place a visit.
Something I really like about this place is the fact that the owner displays the price for a US pint or a UK pint glass. Most people don't bother to do that. It DOES make a difference.
Beer Bar Bachus - 6.5/10.

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Next up, with simple, easy to follow directions from the Bachus owner, I made my way (sprinted, more like it, as it was 10 mins to closing time!) to Towers.
A very nice, small standing bar. The owner used to be a teacher and now runs this bar. Great guy. Loves his beer and only serves the good stuff. He was also kind enough to allow me to enter after he put up the closed sign. I only had 10minutes to closing time, so I concentrated on drinking, rather than taking photos.
I should've taken one or two from outside, but I'll do that another time. For a nice shot of the outside, why not check out the excellent Brews News page. They cover almost all bars in Tokyo and the surrounding areas and include reviews and directions, etc. A handy, great website.

Here's a photo I did take of the inside:Everyone was really friendly. A great little bar.
Right, the booze.
First up was half an Ozenoyukidoke barley wine.And very nice she was, too.
Ozenoyukidoke barleywine -6/10.

Next was a Baird red rose amber ale (I think?):Nice. 5.5/10.

Great bar. Ok owner. Great people. Great beer.

Towers Standing Bar -7/10.
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Then, I rushed to the station and just made my last train home!
Can't type much more now. My knuckle is hurting so much (broke the thing, punching a bar stool, 2 weeks ago when Wales won the rugby grand slam).